Alchemical transformation continues.

Falling inwards really intensely. Dropping ego structures majorly. Feels like I am dissolving. Wishes and directive thoughts to be found less. The God - Union moving further into destroying / dismantling deeper and more expansively, erasing humanness. 

"Me" is being removed further and with that things the personality does; like want, direct, ask, focus, require, imagine, create. Even socialize. Feels awesome and confusing. 

I feel that I can no longer try to be human, try to fit in, try to make sense, try to behave so that I will be understood. It's falling away now.

I can no longer socialize on society's terms. Though I have developed social skills and communication skills, I can no longer perform those arts. Can only be nakedly real. Silent or honest and direct. No more frills. I can no longer hold up the appearances of suitable, agreeable and graceful. It will be Raw or Nothing at all. Silence or Truth.

Egoless in Flagstaff, Arizona.

I am currently spending time in airy and cool Flagstaff, Arizona, and working on transforming a healing center into a healing practice. The practitioners / teachers at the former center Vertical Shift Healing are going separate ways, continuing each their journeys and developing spiritually and in their craft. It is an honor for me to be sent here by Spirit / God to be the spiritual midwife for this transitional change period for so many.

It is exciting to see things develop and fall into place with perfect precision and grace. Something must be behind all of this, certainly not ego. Living outside of ego is a wonderful experience, allowing grace and flow and the natural order of things to manifest without trying to control it or get in the the way. It is rewarding beyond description and a feeling and experience of freedom on a very worldly level.

Archangel Michael and Saint Gabriel.

In a recent mediumship session with a friend/client both archangel Michael and Saint Gabriel showed up and offered guidance. First archangel Michael, who was very clear, strict and stern about his views that day about the topic in question. His guidance was understood as very inflexible by the client (and myself) and we learned about how angels work, operate and serve. They serve unquestioningly and immediately always. Then (he wants to be called) Saint Gabriel showed up and I could feel what he has said, that even though he is thought of as an archangel, he really is more of a saint, in the saint group. His guidance offered on the same topics were gentle, compassionate and very flexible in how, flexible on the time line and all over kind and non intrusive. I learned that day that the reason guidance comes in differently at different times, it is because it depends on who you talk to up there. They all have different opinions, purposes and agendas just as we all do down here. : )

Archangel Saint Gabriel and the Golden Ones.

About a year and a half ago I had a bad mountain bike accident right in town, right in the middle of traffic. I fell really hard and had the breath knocked out of me completely. I needed help to get up and couldn't see anything but white light. Everything was White Light, the sky, the mountains, the road, buildings and cars. Everything was just white. I could make out all the people that gathered around because, even though they appeared as ovals of white light, these ovals were surrounded by about an inch of a golden aura. So in the ocean of white light there were these ovals of golden auras floating about.

There is much more to this story, but I will try to keep it short. I regained my normal sight after about 15 minutes (after I said "no!" three times, refusing the invitation to go home with the angels, it seems). I refused to go to the hospital but allowed the friendly police woman to drive me home, which she insisted on. I cracked three ribs (oh, that's painful) which I didn't feel until the following morning.

Immediately after the accident I could feel that my regular spirit guides were not present with me. So I asked; "who's there?" and the answer came; "We are the Golden Ones." I didn't know them, nor had I ever heard of them and I was just really annoyed because I had just come into a good working relationship with my, up until then, peeps; Mother Mary and archangel Michael. I refused to start over with new guides and didn't want to have to learn about these new ones working style, communication style and so on. I asked for Michael and Mother Mary back. And I got them back after a few weeks.

During this past year archangel Gabriel has introduced himself to me more and more as a spirit guide that is in charge of building up my earthly life. He wants me to call him Saint Gabriel. I was at first kind of intimidated by his presence and felt overwhelmed, he was SO bright. As time went on and he continued to show himself as a part of my team, I have come to accept that he is there.

During a meduimship session I was doing for a client/friend just the other day, archangel Garbiel came in and showed himself closely surrounded by a group of his helpers, and they were all of them glowing a golden light. And I realized that these were the Golden Ones, headed by archangel Saint Gabriel !!! I have incorporated them now more acceptingly into my life and also my work with people in mediumship sessions. Now finally the Golden Ones make sense to me. : )

The mysteries of Awakening.

An amazing journey it is. For sure. And never ending, it seems. And so I hear. I see now that there are three parts to the awakening process.

First the transformation of CONSCIOUSNESS, awareness of things seen and unseen. Self - Realization, the knowledge of Advaita Vedanta, the different levels of samadhi; savikalpa samadi, nirvikalpa samadhi and sahaja samadhi. Ever deepening and ending up in permanent Oneness consciousness.

Then there is the lengthy ENERGETIC TRANSFORMATION of ones being. The changes, purification and transformation, of the mental body, emotional body, physical body, life and life style from having caught a glimpse into the Real. The massive energetic transformation from the Kundalini awakening, transforming ones body, mind and life completely.

So, I thought that was it. No more. But it turns out that there is more. The next step after the total change in consciousness and total change in energy make - up, is a change in personality, humanity, in ones presence here and in ones representation of ones person and being in life on the planet. There is now a total change in being here, from PERSONALITY to DIVINITY. And this part of the awakenign process is ever stranger than all the rest. It focuses on and surrounds the central core of Truth. Truth and honesty forces one to always speak and express ones inner truth, an inner urging of what must be offered to the world is always there. The divine inner urging becomes ones only guiding force and ones only way of being. It takes care of every area of ones life, as it is heard, listened to and obeyed completely. There comes a need to represent this inner truth in all ways and at all times, unconditionally and unwaiveringly. The God Force, the Presence of Truth, Divinity and Reality becomes ones personality as well. It is very bizarre and can be very confusing at first. But after all this awakening and transformation, ones person becomes an absolute instrument and vehicle of Divine Reality as Truth unwaiveringly. An empty instrument for God's will.

Love and tenderness.

In the highest possible spiritual sense,
it is not about who and what you are, it is about
what you can do for other people. They are not free
from their suffering, and they need to be. They need help
with their pain, purification and energetic transformation.


Love, tenderness and radiance become our job.

Ramana transmission.

See this documentary video on Sri Ramana Maharshi;

Ramana Maharshi; Sage of Arunachala.

Cat prayer.

When a cat prays . . .

It's rapturous.

I still have an extraordinarily bombastic need for quiet, stillness and peace. That's why I am going to Maine, to Rockport rather than Camden or Bar Harbor, or back to L.A. Well, we'll see. I still need to remove myself from the world.

Something is happening to me now, that I don't know what it is. Whether it is results from the kundalini or if it is just plain down loading of light that the lightworkers might be doing now. Maybe it's the new moon.

I've been buzzing and burning like cold fire for two days. I can barely stay conscious, in form. I feel a power developing that I don't know what it is and I don't know what to do with yet. I am totally physically dysfunctional. I can barely make myself a cup of tea.

Hard work, paid off.

This is where I have been for the past five years, working hard for change.

Letter to Tyrus. Tumblin'.

I tumbled into a house in uptown Sedona, friends of D.'s. It is unfurnished so I sleep on a mattress in the middle of the living room under the cathedral ceiling. Huge windows and views of the red rock mountains. The people worship cats and are into ancient Egypt. They painted Egyptian symbols and images on the walls in the whole house and then painted over them. You can't see them but you can feel them. I feel like I am sleeping in the temple.

I am no longer making plans for my life, for anything, and doubt I ever will again. This experience brought me to where I feel I was meant to be, finally. I was in the tumbler and fell out cathartically into some sort of new. It's cool. I flow, I float, I watch, I observe. I go with the story. We'll see where it takes "me", or the Harmony. I don't really care any more. I lost grip of the outer and swim eternally in the oceans of Bliss. There are things I want but as they once said; "God can imagine for you better than you can imagine for yourself." So I let it go.

After the solstice.

I can't hear my guides any more, not since the summer solstice. I am kept in a cocoon of light and I can't see or hear anything.

The past couple of weeks have for me been extremely turbulent and hectic. Total chaos. No idea where it's all going.

Such energy, such complete divine orchestration. I feel totally blind and I think I am. I see nothing, I know nothing, I hear very little.

I feel I am inside of a typhoon / hurricane / tornado. But I trust in the divine to lead me to the right next plateau of my movie of life.

Great big sign finally.

After over two years in Sedona and not having a clue what I was doing here and no life what so ever opening up for me here ever . . . and wanting to go but that not either appearing to be possible, for all this time. I had wondered if I was not supposed to be here for whatever reason. I doubted that we were in fact ever going to leave.

I have not connected with any community, no activities, made no friends, have done really nothing, no sightseeing, hiking or exploring, just working or resting deeply. I haven't even bought one souvenir. I have really not tapped into this town what so ever, not at all. (The mountains, yes, the town, no.) And I was wondering.

So, recently we reconnected with some people who I felt would be our connection into the Sedona scene. I felt this could be the opening into us having something to do with this place and it's inhabitants. So we were going to get together with these new people . . . and each day they canceled with us and resceduled for the next day. Day after day. Now a week has gone by and we have not seen them still.

So, today I realize that we are actually not going to connect or work together and probably we are finally leaving this hole and that my life is waiting for me somewhere else and that as soon as I get there I will have a real life. Can't wait to go. Now I feel really released from here. Just a great sign that we are not connected in any way to this place. Just passing through, like we first planned and we are still on our journey.

It's been restful and tranquil bordering on intense boredom. But now, there is nothing in my mind that tells me that maybe we are supposed to do something here. I'm telling you. This place is boring. And goodbye.

Happy birthday ! ! !

I have seen it rain from a clear blue sky, on the island of Gomera in the Canary Islands of Spain, off the coast of West Sahara in Africa. That stunned us all and people stopped what they were doing and went outside to just watch the strange weather phenomena.

*

Last night, here in uptown Sedona, lightning lit up the night sky, for hours. No clouds and no thunder . . . and it went on for hours and hours. I could see the stars bright in the sky through all my huge windows. I was actually thinking it was the great mother ship coming to take us home. I was hoping they would take all my cats and my stuff too, especially my computer. : ) Really, very strange.

*

In two days, on Wednesday the 22 of July, it is my birthday and I turn 44 (8 - you know, feng shui). I think I will perhaps do something magical, in nature, with a few aligned ones . . . perhaps.

*

In two days, on Wednesday the 22 of July, there will be a total solar eclipse. There are some fears about this event, that it will stir up evil and craziness. But I don't think so.

*

I guess we all have to love as much as we can then, eh.

*

LOVE people ! ! ! LOVE ! ! !

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http://www.mreclipse.com/Special/SEprimer.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_eclipse

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_eclipse_of_July_22,_2009

http://www.exploratorium.edu/eclipse/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/space/solarsystem/sun/solareclipse.shtml

http://eclipse.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse.html

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L O V E ! ! !

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Meditation grace.

What do I do now that I don't do energy work any more?

I meditate on the troubles of the world, hours every day. There is such disharmony and imbalance, destruction and fear. Even in my immediate surroundings - much upheaval.

In meditation there is grace. Grace creates order, balance and harmony; which gives birth to love and prosperity, abundance and sustenance for all. Grace plows through fear, rebellion, wilfulness, resistance, hatred and many more unaligned energies. Grace brings order in chaos, blessings to the world.

Thank you !!!

If one only thinks about what one wants, that which one has, begin to look like nothing. One becomes miserable and unhappy, nothing works and one experiences loss.

If one keeps saying "Thank you", that which one has, begin to look like rich, golden blessings. One becomes deeply grateful and happy and everything works out gloriously and grow into more blessings.

Everything that haunts one in life that one does not want, that follow one where ever one goes, one is to absorb it into ones being . . . and it stops having power over one. Not to reject it or push it away.

Cracking.

I am surrounded by such beauty here,
I am cracking, I crack.

This is getting me ready fro my next place,
Camden, Maine.

And that will get me ready for my final place,
Bar Harbor, Maine.

Really ??

For many years now . . .

Nobody responds to me as a private person, as a regular somebody. All people I meet respond to the Light. And all they respond to, is the Light.

Men fall in love with the Light. They think they like me, but they know nothing about me. It's the Light they want. Women fall in love with it too. They think it's me, but it's the Light they want. Straight women fall in love with me too. But it was never me they wanted or were interested in. It was always the Light. I don't think anyone even sees me. I don't think anyone ever has. They see the Light and respond to it, positively or negatively.

When they do find out something about me, anything, by getting to know my person, they become confused, then aggressive and hostile, angry; because it isn't what they want. They want the brilliance, the Light. They want the magical, my spiritual and metaphysical work and practice. That's what they want, a spiritual experience, spiritual growth, magic.

When they see me they get angry, because it gets in the way of the experience of Light, of the imagination of what is there, the possibility of their own change. I am having to (learn to) relate to others from this strangeness, to learn why they all respond to me so strangely, so awkwardly, so backwardly, abruptly, abnormally, unusually.

I give guidance, I give the words I am supposed to give, and people relax. Only if I speak from this place; otherwise, agitation. That's when they relax, when they can hold onto something, some idea, some concept, a step, something to focus on, something to do. Direction. They hold on to me for this, and they don't know it.

And I must make it impersonal. And because of this . . . I don't get to have normal personal relationships. I can't ever make any of it personal, into a personal relationship. There is no giving back to Harmony in the same way. The realm of Divine Mother feeds Harmony; the sweetness, the immaculate bliss.

So, as I watch this, I withdraw from trying human relationships. I withdraw from the natural give and take, the normal sharing in human relationships, since it does not unfold. And instead allow for that which does unfold, the graceful giving of spiritual energies and sometimes called for spiritual guidance. I let go and observe the balance of giving - and receiving in return an energy shift in the other which adds to the change in grids and global and universal consciousness and vibration. All over higher vibration, that is how it returns to me . . . and not as friendships.

I have alliances, allies, companions, pals and acquaintances. But through it all . . . Harmony gives and they receive. I cannot maintain balanced relationships and friendships. They all develop into leadership, guide and giving and following, listening and receiving.

Is this something I must take on seriously now ??? Ever since the time of Christ.

*

Yes, I know, it is shocking. But if you are on this path, this is happening to you too, even long before you reach the final culmination. They respond to you and your many lives.

No longer metaphysical . . . just One.

It's no longer about spirits,
dimensions,
energy changes and shifts.

It's about Mother's Light . . .

shining into every corner
of all that which has been created.
Reaching everywhere,
all the time.

It's about Mother's Light . . . into the One.

Powerful and intense.

God is in everything.

It's so powerful it hurts.