Right now.

I am still somewhat reeling, my life that is,
from the kundalini into my crown chakra.

I guess, since the kundalini rested in and worked in
each chakra anywhere between 1 - 4 years
(and in several upper chakras at the same time, more or less)

I can expect just about anything still

as the kundalini has filled the crown.

The explosion of divine light

that took place in the crown chakra

as the kundalini reached the crown

is still expanding, in waves ... big waves.

I didn't realize that the experience of
the kundalini in the crown chakra would also be
a stretched out period in time, a lengthy experience.

I have thought that I should be able now
to pretty much right away grab a hold of my life
and steer it the way I used to be able to do

before all this began, before the kundalini was activated.

Yet, I am powerless still over how my life unfolds,

powerless completely.

All I can do is watch as things develop around me,

in the world of matter - as things happen
or as nothing at all happens.

I am totally unable to make anything happen
- through will, intent or prayer.
Even surrender doesn't get me what I want,

doesn't give me control.
It is amazing to observe all the things that do,

seemingly all by themselves,
simply unfold and build in my life.

As ones energy patterns change
ones external life experience also changes,
so here we go,

BIG change ...