Friday, June 27, 2008

Here we go.

I am finally going on my journey again. Soon I am leaving Sedona after having spent just over a year in this magical land. I haven't done anything I wanted to do but energetically I have done everything I came here to do, I received. I feel OK with that now, complete with the process I came here here to have, quite deeply rejuvenated.

So, I am on my way finally back towards Europe, from where I came 14 years ago. It was on 9/11 that I decided I really wanted to go back to Europe. It has taken me 7 years. (Hm. It took me 10 years to come back to the U.S. after my first initial visit here. Hm. Interesting.) I am passing through New England, Maine, on my way off this continent. Summer in Maine. That'll do.
Of course, I still miss L.A. and may go back there some day, but as I said before, when I lived there I felt I was missing out on all the things and all the places still to be seen in the world and I felt a pull back to Europe. I am drawn to Scotland, England, France, Italy and Greece.

I am feeling more and more normal. My life is quite normal now and things in my life are unfolding beautifully rather than as profound challenges. My life is more and more normal but I have yet to feel totally normal again. I wait for that day. I just want a normal life, a life that makes sense, a life of order and rhythm, creativity and social activities. I am still confused about this thing called free will. I don't seem to have any. Things unfold in my life absolutely without any regard to my thoughts, wishes, prayers or otherwise intending my will upon creation. I am OK with that since now things flow so well and kindly towards me.