Thursday, July 2, 2009

Really ??

For many years now . . .

Nobody responds to me as a private person, as a regular somebody. All people I meet respond to the Light. And all they respond to, is the Light.

Men fall in love with the Light. They think they like me, but they know nothing about me. It's the Light they want. Women fall in love with it too. They think it's me, but it's the Light they want. Straight women fall in love with me too. But it was never me they wanted or were interested in. It was always the Light. I don't think anyone even sees me. I don't think anyone ever has. They see the Light and respond to it, positively or negatively.

When they do find out something about me, anything, by getting to know my person, they become confused, then aggressive and hostile, angry; because it isn't what they want. They want the brilliance, the Light. They want the magical, my spiritual and metaphysical work and practice. That's what they want, a spiritual experience, spiritual growth, magic.

When they see me they get angry, because it gets in the way of the experience of Light, of the imagination of what is there, the possibility of their own change. I am having to (learn to) relate to others from this strangeness, to learn why they all respond to me so strangely, so awkwardly, so backwardly, abruptly, abnormally, unusually.

I give guidance, I give the words I am supposed to give, and people relax. Only if I speak from this place; otherwise, agitation. That's when they relax, when they can hold onto something, some idea, some concept, a step, something to focus on, something to do. Direction. They hold on to me for this, and they don't know it.

And I must make it impersonal. And because of this . . . I don't get to have normal personal relationships. I can't ever make any of it personal, into a personal relationship. There is no giving back to Harmony in the same way. The realm of Divine Mother feeds Harmony; the sweetness, the immaculate bliss.

So, as I watch this, I withdraw from trying human relationships. I withdraw from the natural give and take, the normal sharing in human relationships, since it does not unfold.
And instead allow for that which does unfold, the graceful giving of spiritual energies and sometimes called for spiritual guidance. I let go and observe the balance of giving - and receiving in return an energy shift in the other which adds to the change in grids and global and universal consciousness and vibration. All over higher vibration, that is how it returns to me . . . and not as friendships.

I have alliances, allies, companions, pals and acquaintances. But through it all . . . Harmony gives and they receive. I cannot maintain balanced relationships and friendships. They all develop into leadership, guide and giving and following, listening and receiving.

Is this something I must take on seriously now ??? Ever since the time of Christ.


Yes, I know, it is shocking. But if you are on this path, this is happening to you too, even long before you reach the final culmination. They respond to you and your many lives.