I have wondered quite, and sometimes desperately at why, over the past few years (four exactly), I have been surrounded by such and only insanity; addiction, irrationality, alcoholism, violence, abuse, compulsive lying, pathological lying, back stabbing, let down, controlling, personal attacks (because I am spiritual) and so on and so on and so on. Every singe day, all day long, sometimes with great volume and intensity. I wondered "why me?", such a gentle soul I am (even though I have now finally learned to become a strong bitch with all the attacking that's been going on). I knew somewhere there was a reason for it all, for the direct intensity of it and that I would find out why in the end.
Lately, in the midst of such - OK not hurricanes lately but gusts only, lately - I am now beginning to see a great change in me . . . and the reasons for such crazy and constant pressure from the outside. I find now that during this time I have been cleansed of any and all resistance I carried to such behaviours by others. Seems like I had tons of it. I was raised to think and feel that certain behaviours were unthinkable, unacceptable and intolerable - manners, etiquette. I used to react powerfully to abuse and craziness and all of that in others with intense rejection and judgement. Well, now I find that this resistance of mine has been shaved away over the years, so much that now in the midst of craziness I am more and more calm, undisturbed, unfazed, non-reactive, accepting, patient and deeply compassionate - a deep Love pours out inside of me, through me - as my own resistance to such experiences has so dramatically diminished. I look upon the struggling souls, in mountainous pain and terror, react to the world around them with irrational, backwards, intense and strange - sort of crazy - behaviours and feel extraordinary surges of Love, an astonishing Love is revealed from inside, from within. Free from tension and reaction . . . free to Love.
OK, so this process isn't finished yet. But since I am able to see it it is in the end times of the experience. I am sure this was intentional on the part of my guides, in order for me to become more non - reactive meeting strangers in the storm of the pain of life. Luckily, I feel now that I have been prepared by all this to handle meeting whomever. Being so empathic as I am I am less troubled now. Peace in the midst of war.
Lately, in the midst of such - OK not hurricanes lately but gusts only, lately - I am now beginning to see a great change in me . . . and the reasons for such crazy and constant pressure from the outside. I find now that during this time I have been cleansed of any and all resistance I carried to such behaviours by others. Seems like I had tons of it. I was raised to think and feel that certain behaviours were unthinkable, unacceptable and intolerable - manners, etiquette. I used to react powerfully to abuse and craziness and all of that in others with intense rejection and judgement. Well, now I find that this resistance of mine has been shaved away over the years, so much that now in the midst of craziness I am more and more calm, undisturbed, unfazed, non-reactive, accepting, patient and deeply compassionate - a deep Love pours out inside of me, through me - as my own resistance to such experiences has so dramatically diminished. I look upon the struggling souls, in mountainous pain and terror, react to the world around them with irrational, backwards, intense and strange - sort of crazy - behaviours and feel extraordinary surges of Love, an astonishing Love is revealed from inside, from within. Free from tension and reaction . . . free to Love.
OK, so this process isn't finished yet. But since I am able to see it it is in the end times of the experience. I am sure this was intentional on the part of my guides, in order for me to become more non - reactive meeting strangers in the storm of the pain of life. Luckily, I feel now that I have been prepared by all this to handle meeting whomever. Being so empathic as I am I am less troubled now. Peace in the midst of war.
