The filling continues, has been going on now for days, a filling of my physical form, my cellular structure, filling . . . filling . . . with the Supreme. How can I possibly describe it? Physically.
And as this goes on, I am completely incapacitated. I can't do anything at all whatsoever, nothing. handicapped, paralyzed. I can get up and get ready for the day and I can eat, but . . . Each and every day I fall into a deep trance as the filling takes place and a completely powerful energy surges through me, engulfs me, absorbs me, consumes me, my body, completely. Hours and hours on end each and every day. And it just keeps going. I can't stop it either. Making plans to do anything in the external is near impossible. Doing anything is pretty much impossible. Thinking is pretty much impossible. Which is frustrating. It is almost as if I am drugged by the above. I was brought up to be a doer, to accomplish and to have things make sense. But I am made to not even be able to think about it, incapable of worry. What's happening is very, very powerful. Wish I knew what it was.
And as this goes on, I am completely incapacitated. I can't do anything at all whatsoever, nothing. handicapped, paralyzed. I can get up and get ready for the day and I can eat, but . . . Each and every day I fall into a deep trance as the filling takes place and a completely powerful energy surges through me, engulfs me, absorbs me, consumes me, my body, completely. Hours and hours on end each and every day. And it just keeps going. I can't stop it either. Making plans to do anything in the external is near impossible. Doing anything is pretty much impossible. Thinking is pretty much impossible. Which is frustrating. It is almost as if I am drugged by the above. I was brought up to be a doer, to accomplish and to have things make sense. But I am made to not even be able to think about it, incapable of worry. What's happening is very, very powerful. Wish I knew what it was.
My cats sleep with me, fly with me, trance with me. They adore it. It heals them and makes them tranquil. If I move to another room they get up and follow me and lay down all around me. They want to be near me, immediately near me. Funny how animals respond to the true language - energy.
* * *
And the longer I get to stay in Sedona, the more I get to remember past times in this life and I get to go through a sort of severing from all those times - memories, attachments and experiences. I am feeling a sense of loss as I am re-living it all emotionally and it is removed from my being. I only got to be in each place and know each person for such a short period of time, then it was always onward and forward, towards some place in future time. Right now I am remembering high school and people around me at that time. I feel a cleansing of sorts, a letting go of some sort of something carried (even though I didn't know I carried it). I assume I am getting lighter from this cleansing. It feels very complete. And it is sad. I am having a deep sadness of having to leave and always leave. I have been in so many places and experienced so many things and cared for so many people. Even people I never spoke to, you know, in high school. Now I am being made to clear it all out on en energy level. I guess I am raising my vibration tremendously here in this place, Sedona.
