For several years now I have feverishly wanted to "settle down" and have a huge house with a huge yard / garden. I wanted to be in L.A. I wanted to have a house on a hill overlooking the ocean and be in a city which would have all the activities I could possibly want. I wanted extreme luxury. I wanted marble floors. I wanted a big social life. I have now let go of my wants of a certain kind of many things.
I have been for the past nine months now, not on a hill but in a valley, not by the ocean but in the desert and not in a huge, luxurious house but among several very simple buildings on this compound. I have not had any activities and no friends around (except the people on the compound). I have been pretty much isolated in a place where there is "nothing to do". And . . . it's been perfect for me.
I have been deeply rejuvenated by this place, rejuvenating from all the difficulties I've had over the years from the turbulent chaos of the kundalini awakening. This place was better for me than anything I could have imagined myself. I feel so connected now; to nature, to the earth and to spirit. It has been the ultimate good thing for me. I didn't know that this place would be so good for my rejuvenation and I didn't even know I so deeply needed this restoration / rejuvenation. Little I know of my own needs.
Somebody up there knew. I feel more normal now, more in touch and more over the "spiritual path". I feel like I am waking up from a long dream. I have wanted to have a more normal life for ten years but the kundalini rising creating chaos wouldn't let me. Since it culminated a year ago and I have adjusted to it for about a year now, I am feeling more and more normal, finally . . . here in the country, among the trees and their magnificent love.
I have been for the past nine months now, not on a hill but in a valley, not by the ocean but in the desert and not in a huge, luxurious house but among several very simple buildings on this compound. I have not had any activities and no friends around (except the people on the compound). I have been pretty much isolated in a place where there is "nothing to do". And . . . it's been perfect for me.
I have been deeply rejuvenated by this place, rejuvenating from all the difficulties I've had over the years from the turbulent chaos of the kundalini awakening. This place was better for me than anything I could have imagined myself. I feel so connected now; to nature, to the earth and to spirit. It has been the ultimate good thing for me. I didn't know that this place would be so good for my rejuvenation and I didn't even know I so deeply needed this restoration / rejuvenation. Little I know of my own needs.
Somebody up there knew. I feel more normal now, more in touch and more over the "spiritual path". I feel like I am waking up from a long dream. I have wanted to have a more normal life for ten years but the kundalini rising creating chaos wouldn't let me. Since it culminated a year ago and I have adjusted to it for about a year now, I am feeling more and more normal, finally . . . here in the country, among the trees and their magnificent love.
