Is this a path of loss . . . or what? I have gained also; endurance, patience, tenacity, inventiveness, insight, spirituality, experience, travel, surrender, going with the flow, relationship with God, peace, serenity, calm, creativity, depth, metaphysical training and experience . . .
I have had fun too, loads of fun (HI, Gomera, Europe, L.A.). It didn't bother me to change and move and travel since that's what I wanted the most until all of a sudden I wanted to stop and settle down. That was my feeling when I came to L.A., to stop the moving and settle down. I felt that if I left L.A. and moved again, even just one more time, I would break, literally. Going from place to place continues though, still continues by itself. I left L.A. after many years there and now I am slowly breaking, literally, but it is a good breaking. I am becoming dissolved, here in the desert.
I have surrendered totally and given my life over to IT. I believe now the true and right life for me will be built up around me and through my life, by God and not my own whims, wishes and efforts. I do hear on the inside that now I can do whatever I want but I also hear that God can imagine for me better than I can imagine for myself. If it was up to me entirely, I would probably go back to L.A. It made so much sense to me there. But I am also open to see what else might be in store for moi.
Ever so often I am forced to move. Then I again loose everything that has come into my life. Everything just folds in on itself and ceases. I have learned recently that as more and more Light pours in into ones life, the conditions of ones life drastically changes; that which is manifest around ones person dissolves and a new manifestation is created matching ones new and higher vibration, over and over and over. As Light has been pouring in intensely now for a while through the 11:11 portal our lives change over and over again. Being settled is near impossible. Life changes, starts to take off a little then collapses and starts over again somewhere else and in new ways and so on.
So, do we have to wait until the end of 2012 until we can settle down? I don't think I can wait that long. Nothing holds me. My spirit soars but I just want to land somewhere and be still, belong and be creative.
All this loss has steered my attention to God and my attention is now on God in every moment of every day. May God's will be done in all my affairs. Then we'll see what happens. Likely to be bigger and better, eh.
I have had fun too, loads of fun (HI, Gomera, Europe, L.A.). It didn't bother me to change and move and travel since that's what I wanted the most until all of a sudden I wanted to stop and settle down. That was my feeling when I came to L.A., to stop the moving and settle down. I felt that if I left L.A. and moved again, even just one more time, I would break, literally. Going from place to place continues though, still continues by itself. I left L.A. after many years there and now I am slowly breaking, literally, but it is a good breaking. I am becoming dissolved, here in the desert.
I have surrendered totally and given my life over to IT. I believe now the true and right life for me will be built up around me and through my life, by God and not my own whims, wishes and efforts. I do hear on the inside that now I can do whatever I want but I also hear that God can imagine for me better than I can imagine for myself. If it was up to me entirely, I would probably go back to L.A. It made so much sense to me there. But I am also open to see what else might be in store for moi.
* * *
Ever so often I am forced to move. Then I again loose everything that has come into my life. Everything just folds in on itself and ceases. I have learned recently that as more and more Light pours in into ones life, the conditions of ones life drastically changes; that which is manifest around ones person dissolves and a new manifestation is created matching ones new and higher vibration, over and over and over. As Light has been pouring in intensely now for a while through the 11:11 portal our lives change over and over again. Being settled is near impossible. Life changes, starts to take off a little then collapses and starts over again somewhere else and in new ways and so on.
So, do we have to wait until the end of 2012 until we can settle down? I don't think I can wait that long. Nothing holds me. My spirit soars but I just want to land somewhere and be still, belong and be creative.
All this loss has steered my attention to God and my attention is now on God in every moment of every day. May God's will be done in all my affairs. Then we'll see what happens. Likely to be bigger and better, eh.
