I grew up in the very north, in the extreme climates of extreme cold, dark and seeming endless winter. I was used to it, knew of nothing else, but from early childhood, since I traveled to Greece in the summer at the age of six, I always dreamed of warmth and summer, beaches, palm trees, smiling, friendly people and the sun.I have lived in southern climates now for 14 years and have long since vowed never to see snow or experience winter, ice, cold and dark ever, ever again.
When my journey began seriously, I first lived for six months on Gomera of the Canary Islands in Spain located off the coast of West Sahara in Africa . . . tropical, warm, sunny, ocean, beaches, dolphins and emerald green, pyramid shaped hills.
I then moved to Hawai'i where I lived on Maui for almost two years . . . sandy beaches, sun, warmth, perfect water, pools, flowers, water falls, rain forest, best of ocean living and smiling people.
Then I have now been living in southern California, L.A. and Santa Barbara and then L.A. again, altogether for nine years. The heat of southern California can make one drowsy and ones mind foggy and tired. Still I never imagined leaving LA really or southern California and certainly not that type of gentle climate.
I have now spent almost seven months in the Sedona area of Arizona. I have enjoyed the heat of the summer months here in the desert of Sedona; when walking outside was only tolerable early in the morning or very late in the evening; and then the heat and monsoon rains in the desert outside of Sedona where I have been enjoying the oasis of the greenbelt along Oak creek where swimming every day was possible.
I didn't think I would still be here come winter but I am. Now all the leaves have fallen, the nights are really cold and there is a thick layer of frost covering everything in the mornings. The heaters run full steam evenings and mornings and I have been afraid I will still be here when it snows, which I know it does.
As we have been preparing for Christmas I have slowly been getting used to the cool and the cold crisp and sometimes even biting cold of the late evenings. I have been given a very cool, vintage 60's, faux fur coat that my landlady used to wear when she was young and it keeps me very warm no matter what, if I also wear my leopard print furry hat and gloves, in the evenings when I go outside sometimes and sit under the stars and look at the Christmas lights or walk with my cat. I am just not made for the cold.As I have been living here I have also been suspecting that they (my peeps upstairs) are working on making me used to cooler climates again and I am OK with that. I have been in the south for so long, several lifetimes within this lifetime, that experiencing the cool and winter is quite exotic to me now. And I must say that Christmas is a much warmer and deeper feeling than it was having Christmas on Hawai'i or in L.A. (Sorry you all who live there, no disrespect:). I grew up with deep winter Christmases and no holidays in the fall; from Midsummer there was nothing until Christmas, so Christmas was big, as you can imagine.
I feel, with this cooler weather and distinct seasons, a greater clarity, a more awake every day experience, for some reason. The heat is removed from my system. Just as when I was little I was frozen to the bones and needed warmth and sun, which I had never had, and now I am warm through and through and can go on with the next leg of my journey, no matter the climate. I am even excited going to the next step which is . . .
So I have clarity now that I will go from here soon northward to Colorado and spend some time there, a few to several months, at least. I will be in the country, in the wild, and I can't wait. I would like to experience the seasons there, smell the snow when it is melting in the spring, listen to the wind and the wild life in the summer and smell the earth as it supports everything that's growing, feel the cooling in the fall and see the colors change and then have Christmas in the white winter, go skiing and sledding. And take lots of pictures.
Nature is a must for me right now, and space, lots of it. It was one of the big reasons I had to leave L.A. and I also missed being surrounded by beauty. I didn't know where to go for the longest time and just recently realized I could listen within for guidance instead of trying to figure it out mentally (which didn't work). After some time in Colorado I will continue my journey to Nashville, Tennessee. That's where I will live. I have a feeling I will be there for some time, working and plain living. Surprise to me. Never would I have chosen that or even thought of Nashville. I don't see myself as a Nashville kind of woman but I see the tremendous metaphysical influences there and since I am all about that, it makes sense. I just want my life to make sense and . . . the Smokey Mountains are so beautiful!!!I never thought I would leave L.A., felt at home there, but it is now clear that my time in L.A. is over and done with. Leaving L.A. and southern California was really hard for me. I felt so connected to it and everything I experienced there made sense. Since I left, in the past couple of years, I have been feeling lost, in a void, that nothing makes sense and that I don't know what I am doing with my life. I had such a dramatic change take place in my life at the turn of the millennium, tremendous loss on every level, all areas of my life and work, probably had everything to do with my kundalini shooting to the top and rendering me completely and utterly powerless and bringing complete change from the inside out.
I am now beginning to see a life after L.A., not just internally but also externally, things are slowly beginning to open up to me finally and showing me the way, something to do and things that make sense to who I am and who I have become. But it is very, very diffused still but now I know that whatever clarity I have now received will only grow and expand into a new life.
I feel renewed by the cool . . . and a new life is opening up to me . . . even though I never thought I'd see winter again.
