I do believe in God and I have intimate relationships with Jesus the Christ, Mother Mary, many ascended masters and the all the Angels.
I am drawn to the church, I am drawn to Catholicism. But how could I align myself with a church that sits on the biggest wealth in history, where the church men are laden with gold, jewels and heavy satin and live in heated marble palaces when their flock, their global congregation, is suffering, starving and struggling vehemently and are in pain and fear and are told it is God's will for them?
How could I align myself with a church that has not publicly cleansed itself and redeemed itself from having spent centuries persecuting and executing, murdering and killing and torturing millions of people for having different thoughts, for thinking independently, for having different life styles, private personal beliefs and for murdering the ones only suspected of these things?
How could I join a church that has not publicly cleansed itself from widespread child rape and molestation, and through such - emotional torture, manipulation and the destruction and ruining of many lives?
I am still a believer of moral conscience, doing the right thing, kindness and generosity and so on and so forth. I believe not that people are bad if they do not follow certain rules. I believe we are not all informed. I believe the rules of life have been discovered to make life easier and to avoid pain and suffering and I believe that there are ways to do things that make them work and that create happiness instead of pain for the people involved just as there are ways and actions that don't work, that are destructive. Doing "the right thing" was discovered and developed over time to make things work the very best and to the greatest extent avoid pain.
As an original pagan, still and forever in nature worship and in oneness with the Great Mother, I believe each and every one of us have direct access to the divine in every area of our lives, through our inner and outer and need not any other, certainly not institution, to tell us how to connect with truth, divinity and guidance for our lives.
Live on!!! Be brave!!!